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Bide & Bloom

Susie Aitken

March 13, 2019

Susie Aitken and why IT'S OK TO FEEL SHIT

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About Me

Hi, I’m Sarah, founder of Bide & Bloom, a blog about life after baby loss and a resource for secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage. I also talk about mental health and self-care. Read more about me.

Recent Posts

  • Self-care & showing up for yourself with Jamie Berman
  • Self-care, baby loss & pregnancy after loss with The Fitness Dad
  • Maternal Mental Health Week – support & community
  • Maternal Mental Health Week – preparing for IVF and motherhood

Categories

  • Baby loss
  • Fertility treatment
  • Mental health
  • Our story
  • Secondary infertility
  • Self-care

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  • “We take photos as a return ticket to a moment, otherwise gone.” . Last night I got lost in Cora’s baby photos and the moments we’ve captured over the years. All those firsts tugged at my heart and I got to thinking about all the firsts we’ve missed and will never have with Harris, the first day of school being one of many 💔 . Sometimes I notice Harris is missing from photos and I see a space where he could have stood by his sister, a little like this one from Lake Como. I still see a beautiful moment, of course, but when you’ve carried a baby, lost that baby and held them close, it’s hard to unsee the space where they might have been. . Cora going to school fills me with more gratitude than I can put into words, but I’ve also been missing the little boy who won’t ever go and who wasn’t waving goodbye to his sister of today. Happiness and sadness really do go hand in hand and if seeing photos is sometimes hard for you, for similar or other reasons, I see you 💛 . . . . . #bideandbloom #gratitudedaily #dailygratitude #lookforbeauty #myhappycapture #thisishowihueit #babyloss #pregnancyloss #lifeafterloss #miscarriage #latemiscarriage #recurrentmiscarriage #secondaryinfertility #myhonestmotherhood #mymotherhood #griefjourney #griefandloss
  • First day at primary school got a thumbs up from Cora 👍🏻 . Walked in without so much as a backwards glance and seems to have had a fun day. She isn’t saying very much about it though so maybe ‘what happens in school stays in school’ 😂 . Anyway, couldn’t be more proud, especially after seeing her take a nervous friend’s hand before they went in to class this morning 💓
  • “Smell the sea and feel the sky. Let your soul and spirit fly.” - Van Morrison 🌞 . . . . . #myhappycapture #mylittleheart #everydayjoy #flashesofdelight #littlemomentsofmine #thisishowihueit #wanderlusters #findingjoyinthejourney #capturingchildhood #totravelistolive #beachdaysarethebestdays #oceangirl #stillagirl #sanvincenzo #livorno #visittuscany #visittoscana
  • “At the beach, life is different. Time doesn't move hour to hour but mood to moment. We live by the currents, plan by the tides and follow the sun.” - Sandy Gingras . This morning I got a prompt from @thenourishapp to consider what I’m grateful for, in this moment. . Over the last week or so we’ve made a couple of trips to the coast. Cora was desperate for a bit of beach time and I‘m at my happiest by the sea, watching the tide come and go 🌊 . It’s been almost a year since I last swam in the ocean though and I assumed this year would be different, that due to lack of mobility I’d have to miss out on some of the excitement, but after weeks of being in the pool most days (and loosely following a rehabilitation plan) I felt confident enough to live in the moment and at least try! And it was the best feeling. . Cora‘s been loving her swim-vest-free life, tearing through the tide, and I think that seeing her have so much fun in the sea maybe encouraged me to push myself a little more, to trust in my strength and ability to handle it. . And so I’m grateful for her, for always showing me that there’s room to grow 🌻 . . . . . #myhappycapture #mylittleheart #everydayjoy #thesweetlife #flashesofdelight #littlemomentsofmine #raisingdaughters #thisishowihueit #wanderlusters #findingjoyinthejourney #capturingchildhood #totravelistolive #beachdaysarethebestdays #oceangirl #stillagirl #versilia #luccaitaly #visittuscany
  • We’re going to miss Tuscany 🌿 . The scenery here is something else, so lush and verdant, the perfect place to relax and unwind. I knew that making it our home for a wee while would be good for us as a family but I underestimated just how much we needed this trip. It’s been total nourishment for the head and the heart. . I started reading How To Break Up With Your Phone by @_catherineprice yesterday after a short break from social media. I’ve been on a roll with reading so far and have finished 4 of the 6 books I brought with me, which I’m pretty happy with as I don’t think I’ve read 4 books in the last year 😂 . It was recommended by @mightymother_ as part of her Making Sense of Screens course and while I’m yet to follow the 30 day plan (from the book) I think September will be the perfect time to start. I always think of it as a second spring and get the urge to have a good old clear out, digital or otherwise! . Taking a more mindful approach to using social media isn’t easy but it’s something I’m keen to keep cultivating as I begin to embrace it more through my business. As much as I like catching up with people’s news I also find myself missing the true connection of chatting to a pal, meeting up for a cuppa or simply taking in what’s right in front of me. Hopefully, I can find more harmony in life and work on my return home ⚖️ . . . . . #myhappycapture #wanderlustlife #joyfulmoments #tuscanyitaly #tuscanhills #discovertuscany #montaione #chiantiregion #chiantishire #chiantivineyards #colourmyeveryday #thisishowihueit #fieldsofgreen #blueskiesfordays #aestheticsofjoy #joyseeker #switchoff #digitaldetox #lookuplookout #howtobreakupwithyourphone #makingsenseofscreens
  • Say cheese!!! . Can’t believe it’s been three weeks since we kicked off our trip in the Netherlands. We’ve had a fun time travelling and the adventure hasn’t really stopped since we arrived at our final destination here in Italy 🗺 . So I’ve decided to take a wee break from my mobile phone to clear my head and create more space for myself and my family. It’s two weeks until we head home, and three weeks until Cora starts school, so I’m looking forward to slowing down and spending some extra special time with her. . My firstborn, my sunshine, my little heart 💓 . . . . . #myhappycapture #mummyanddaughter #myfirstborn #youaremysunshine #littleheart #everydayjoy #thisishowihueit #thesweetlife #flashesofdelight #littlemomentsofmine #familyholidays #myfamilytime #wanderlusters #wanderlustlife #totravelistolive #createspace #theartofslowingdown #mymotherhood
  • On the hottest day of the year we went out of our minds and took a day trip to Pisa 🥵 . In our defence we were dropping my mum and stepdad off at the airport so it seemed a shame not to visit! Even if we did spend most of our time seeking refuge in the #botanicgardens. They had a wee museum (with air con 😅) and lots of shady areas 🌿 . Sad to say there’s not a single touristy shot of us holding the tower. Nobody would entertain me by standing in the extreme heat to get the shot just right 🤪 . Talking of extremes, today we’ve been hit with thunder, lightning and giant hailstones, so we’re having a lazy afternoon 👌🏻 . . . . . #theselittlemoments #familytravels #wanderlusters #fillyourcup #thisishowihueit #thesweetlife #myhappycapture #flashesofdelight #wanderlustlife #totravelistolive #summerinitaly #travellinginitaly #visittuscany #pisaitaly #northernitaly
  • Life isn’t always pretty and life isn’t always kind. But we make the best of it and I can’t imagine living this life with anyone else 💛 . Happy 40th birthday to the most caring and giving daddy that Cora and Harris could wish for. I‘m sure our wee girl will make this day a joyful one and I know our baby boy will be shining down on us tonight ⭐️
  • Phew 😅 . Won’t complain about the heat again (especially as I spent the first few months of this year whinging about the cold!) but I will say that a cool dip was just what we needed tonight after a day of sightseeing 👀 . Just look at the joy on that wee face ☀️ . . . . . #joyfull #myhappycapture #flashesofdelight #mylittleheart #capturingchildhood #raisingdaughters #sunshinegirl #sunshinebaby #gratitudeattitude #mymotherhood #littlemomentsofmylife

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